February 10, 2004
An exchange
Dumb Account Exec: Hey Pramit, we need to pitch this new concept to this client that no one else has thought of. It needs to be cool and innovative. We don't really know how it works, but it needs to be cool. It must make noises and light up and stuff. We don't know what the lights and sounds are for, but they will make the thing seem cool and important. We need you to create the architecture for it, and since we don't know what we're doing, how about we start with what the user is supposed to end up with and work backwards?
Me: Well, for me to create an architecture I need specifics. To help guide your feeble and miniscule brain, I am attaching a sample of what I need you to give me in order for me to create an architecture. Just fill in the blanks. Shouldn't take you long.
DAE: It needs to be cool and have lights. That's all we have.
Me: Wrong answer. You're being too vague. Can you answer in the form I requested?
DAE: Concept: Something that is cool and has lights. Specifics: You (Pramit) have to come up with that. If you don't do it, I will have someone else do your job.
Me: You're a moron!
Hey Pramit, we need t' pitch dis fresh concept t' dis client dat no one else
has thought o'. It needs t' be diesel an' innovative. We duzn't tru-ly know how
it works, but it needs t' be diesel. It gots'ta make noises an' light down an'
stuff. We duzn't know whut da damn lights an' sounds be 4, but they will make
da damn shit seem diesel an' important. No diggety. We need yo' ass t' create
da damn architecture 4 it, an' since we duzn't know whut we be doin', how about
we start wit' whut da damn usa' be supposed t' fat-lady down wit' an' work
backwards?
hey prams,
you should make that thing, you know with the stuff. you know the THING with the STUFF. ok... you don't know. it's this thing and it has stuff....